Lahore Guide: Ice Cream for Dummies
Ice cream demands some serious protocol.
Unfortunately, the need to escape the heat’s brought on this crap-poetry fest. I apologize for it in advance.
Summer’s intensifying as I type this. I’m perspiring as I type this.
(And there’s plenty more where that came from!)
I should’ve worked on a more respectable opening. Besides, I was reminded earlier in the day that I’m a professional writer now. Shame on you, Urooj.
What brought about this nonchalance, you ask? The heat. That’s what. It’s just too hot to function, okay? And while thinking about sustainable electric power generation or combating global warming are excellent ideas, I’ve got gelato on my mind.
Ice cream makes everything better.
The prospect of kulfi compensates for being forced to attend Shaheena Auntie’s daughter’s wedding (we love you, Shaheena Auntie). Soft-serve on a biscuit-cone makes risking your life on Joyland‘s shoddy rides worth the danger. Regular visits of the Walls ice cream guy to your mohalla (neighborhood) make the dreary ordeal of interacting with your neighbors on the streets bearable. Digging into an ice cream makes you love everything and everyone. Even WAPDA.
But the summer months are long (read: endless), and there’s only so much you can do before it starts getting boring. Eeenkh, WRONG! The world (Lahore) is your oyster when it comes to ice cream, and you’ve got the most amazing luck in the world because I’m here to tell you all about them.
THE ICE LOLLY
Nothing beats the heat better than your good old ice lolly. It’s the only thing in the world you can substitute for water when trying to quench your thirst. Except you probably need water after it because your mouth might get dry.
It’s a classic fruit extract, mixed in far more sugar than necessary and chilled to perfection in the heart of the Ice Age. Walls’ Jet Sport is the reigning champion amongst ice lollies. But if you steer clear of appearing basic, Cosa Nostra and Andersen’s have an excellent range of ice lolly flavors. Their apple lollies are worth looking out for. Try ’em!
Also called Gola Ganda, this is your local ice lolly, sans wooden stick. It’s just as effective, arguably even more so when it comes to fighting off this heatwave. It doesn’t put a dent on your pocket either, unless you buy thirty. The cheaper the gola the better, and so any street-stall in Liberty or Main Market should do the trick.
FINE! We see your turned-up snotty nose and we raise it Cravea or Sheikhoo’s. The former is in DHA’s H Block aka street food central, and the latter is on M. M. Alam Road aka FOOD central. So quit complaining and get on board!
Shaheena Auntie isn’t the only one who thought of kulfi as an apt dessert. It’s served on street corners and in mithai (sweet) shops locally. This soft, chilled milky concoction is often dressed with pistachio and crunchy caramel to give it an interesting texture.
If you don’t want to go search for a street hawker, however, you can consider going to Royal Kulfi or Benazir Kulfa. They both seem to attract a good amount of people, so that’s got to be worth something.
THE WAFFLE CONE
So this is a total departure from the desiness expressed so far, and should have a transition in between. But it won’t (that’s just how I roll). Waffle cones, or biscuit cones, are in a league of their own, and Alamgir‘s famed ice cream is a sub-league of its own within this. Keep up.
It’s unfair to mention Hot Spot without giving a shout out to its Super Sonic Fudge Sundae. Try it with the fam, particularly when you’re feeling really festive. Cosa’s La Gelateria, mentioned previously, is an excellent choice as well. I know this for a fact, this article won’t get the green light if I don’t mention Robbiya. I’ve never had it, but everyone at work keeps singing praises for it. This one comes recommended AF. McDonald’s Hot Fudge Sundae does too. Basic, yes. Disappointing, never.
EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN
Lahore’s stepped up its ice cream game in recent years. Donuts are paired with ice cream at Doughlicious and Gustoso. A winning combination, in my humble opinion. Sweet Tooth goes slightly overboard when it comes to ice cream but it’s okay. Some people dig it, why shouldn’t you?