Home Grown Burgers: The Lowdown On The Great Big
The revolution has been a-brewin’ for a while– it’s hard to notice unless you’re looking in the right places (Home Grown Burgers). Here’s the 411; burgers are making a comeback. No, I’m not talking about your friendly neighborhood Instagram influencer (with that valley girl vocal-fry). I’m talking succulent beef patties that transport you to an alternate reality, where everything is good and nothing hurts. Pizza parties are so 2000-and-late, be gone Mozzarella-this and Broadway-that, good riddance I say. Burgers are now claiming their rightful spot at the very top of everyone’s gluttony list, and summer is grilling season so you know where my mind is at. I couldn’t be happier, I have been waiting for this moment for a hot minute now.
Growing up, the only burgers I knew were McDonalds and KFC, sometimes Salt’n Pepper. I lived in naivety, convinced that beef burgers were made for middle aged glums who couldn’t appreciate McNuggets. Chicken was where it was really at, or so I thought. As I grew older my palette evolved, my aha moment happened the first time I bit into a Double Quarter Pounder. A curtain lifted, it was the end of innocence- I was hooked.
Thereafter, in attempt to right this self-meted injustice I ventured out on a mission to try every beef burger I came across. This pursuit was divinely facilitated by a seemingly unending stream of new burger joints popping up left, right and center- the fear that international fast food chains would wipe out local competition was rendered baseless. In fact, some of the best burgers I’ve had over the past years came from relatively unknown eateries, and boy have I had a few.
Now I’m no food connoisseur, but I know my burgers and I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is when it comes to Home Grown Burgers. The juicy, perfectly-seasoned patty is always a consistent medium-rare. I will now ask you to bear with me, I’ve been eating here once a week for two years, and so I had to review them. It was either this or a poem (possibly a sonnet) and I didn’t want to make you suffer the way Urooj did.
In a nutshell:
- The best beef burger you’ll find in Lahore
- The onion rings are not to be missed
- No shame in the burgers-for-every-meal game
- A shoestring budget? No problem
- Beef burgers every time
- Family friendly
I’m hopelessly devoted to the beef burger at Home Grown Burgers and I recommend it to everyone I run into, I’m the weird burger lady. While I’ll still have the odd Mickey D’s craving every now and then, I will never go back to eating substandard beef burgers from any other spot so help me god. One bite into the beef burger at Home Grown Burgers and you’ll understand why I’ve changed my philandering ways.
Home Grown Burgers is located along a narrow commercial strip smack in the middle of the Residential V-Block, DHA. It’s kinda hard to miss since the street is populated by 8 other burger spots; so you know the competition is stiff and everyone’s bringing their A-game. Every time I visit (which is often) a new eatery seems to have popped up and replaced an older, the only constant is Home Grown Burgers. At the far-end corner of this mini food-street, the bright yellow storefront stands proud. At any given time of the day, you’ll find an entire entourage of LUMS students rushing in and out of the eatery.
You can keep your fancy brioche buns and your homemade stone-ground mustard, that don’t impress me much. For me, the perfect burger requires a patty with a faultless meat-to-fat ratio, cloaked in a blanket of warm American cheddar, and the humble trio of sharp onion, crunchy iceberg, good old ketchup, all wrapped up in a toasted potato bun – simple. Home Grown Burgers has this recipe down to an art.
The menu is pretty straightforward and similar to how BYOB works; you pick your bun, your meat, your add-ons and your sides; though they’ve recently introduced a few gourmet add-ons I always stick to the basics (CLASSICS). Home Grown Burgers has a small indoor dining area, though I prefer eating in my car since the sight of me inhaling my burger is best kept behind closed car doors. It’s hard to find a parking spot right outside the eatery, so you might as well be an asshole and park right next to someone’s house. My go-to spot is right in front of a seemingly abandoned red-brick home. The guard outside enjoys giving me disparaging looks, in response to which I often eat my burger while maintaining direct eye contact with him. It’s called exuding big dick energy– total power move.
The service is always prompt and I’ve never had to wait more than 15 minutes for my order. Good for them, I’m not above walking into the kitchen and demanding my food if they ever cross me. I should warn you though, if you’re absolutely opposed to boxed fries then don’t bother ordering a full meal, because crinkle cut Opa! Fries are the only kind of fries they serve. However, they’ll never serve you any half-cold, limp, lame ass fries so it’s not an option that I’d knock without trying first. I would definitely recommend picking batter-fried onions as an add-on for your burger, it’s an absolute game changer.
Home Grown Burgers might not be a household name, and I think they’re completely fine with it. The owner and the staff pride themselves on being on a first name basis with their regulars (they’ve memorized my order, so you know we’re homies). Their undulating warmth has allowed them to garner a loyal customer base within two short years of operating. The food is consistently amazing, the customer service is unparalleled and the ambiance is whatever you make of it.
I’ve been through my fair share of mom-n-pop burger joints over the years, it rarely ended well. My burger experiences had turned into a predictable and worrisome cycle; girl visits burger shop, girl falls for the biggest beefiest burger available, burger turns out to be inconsistent and unreliable, the girl runs back to her toxic ex (McDonald’s) till another catches her fancy. Rinse & Repeat. All of that ended with Home Grown Burgers.
In this day and age, when everyone and their grandma has opened up a burger joint, loyalty comes hard. Either we’re spoilt for choice and don’t want to be tied down, or we’re too scared to take a chance on someone new (after being disappointed far too many times). I know. But, you need to learn to live a little. Head over to Home Grown Burgers. You might just find your forever burger. Godspeed.
Home Grown Burgers, Sector V DHA (Phase 2), 0304 8888630