The Fine Art Of Being Alone
There’s one foolproof way of being the coolest person in a room; you just have to be the ONLY person in the room.
Go ahead and call me a homebody or loser under your breath. I don’t mind that I wasn’t invited to that ‘awesome’ BBQ at your place. I wasn’t going to come anyway. I’m done feeling ashamed about spending countless hours cooped up into a duvet-burrito alone in an air-conditioned room. All I need is a solid (read: not PTCL) internet connection and I’m set. If you’re envious, I get it. I accept you. Better still, I’ve decided to help you become the most self-satisfied hermit that ever was.
Call me superstitious, but without the right playlist, your day will descend into absolute chaos. It is essential that you set the correct tone from the get-go.
Do you feel like cribbing about that final exam you messed up? Are you planning on moping over being ghosted? Will you spend the day alone, curating the perfect wanderlust board on Pinterest? The right music will make all the difference.
Break out the portable speakers and get to chillin’.
The team is listening to
Running by Abi Ocia
Givin It Up by Charms
Sharpness by Jamie Woon
If you’re fasting then you’ll agree when I say, it is never too early to start preparing for your iftar. If you’re feeling slightly ambitious, check out our tried and tested (tasted) recipes. Try your hand at Sadia Bhabhi’s Peri Peri Chicken or Imaad’s Honey Glazed Chicken– whichever floats your boat. For those of you who aren’t fasting, Urooj has compiled a list of restaurants that deliver all day. You’re welcome.
I’d happily settle for a massive Bihari roll with garlic mayo from Hot ‘n’ Spicy. Delicious as it may be there’s always the looming danger of dysentery. And I don’t know about you but I’d rather be in the comfort of my own home, preferably alone, when that wave hits me.
That’s called strategizing.
The team is ordering
A Double Quarter Pounder from McDonald’s
Kebab Masala from Nadeem Tikka
Cheese Naan from Ze Grill
The golden child of millennial culture, Netflix is now an irreplaceable aspect of a solid chill. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I watched the entire season 1 of ‘Stranger Things’ alone in under 14 hours.
Gentlemen, form an orderly queue.
Currently, I’d recommend watching the new season of ‘The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ if you want to purge the hangry demon stirring within you through laughter therapy. For those of you much braver than us mere mortals, check out ‘Chef’s Table’; the series is a hot favorite at the C+G headquarters right now.
The team is watching
We’re quickly approaching the last week of Ramzan. The markets are flooded by aunties searching for their perfect Eid jora, in a spirit reminiscent of Captain Ahab.
Your tailor is probably acting like a bigger diva than Kanye at the 2009 VMAs. Forget him.
Step into the digital age ladies. Shop online from the comfort of your own bed. Trying to look effortlessly on-trend? SASSY’s new range is out and that’s where you need to be at. I’d take that over being trampled to death trying to grab a kurta from Sapphire, any day. For those of you who can’t be bothered to step out to purchase your Eid clothes, we’ve got you covered.
The team is buying:
Any true, blue-blooded homebody will vouch for the cathartic abilities of good books. Take away my Wi-Fi and lock up all my devices, so long as you hand me something to read, I’m golden. Readings provide a delivery service that makes the entire process as painless as possible for all you introverts out there.
Not that we’d be caught dead, out there.
There’s a 15-20% discount on offer for all online purchases, and everyone loves a good bargain. My side table is currently a shrine to ‘100 Love Sonnets’ by Pablo Neruda (purchased from Liberty Books) because I’m an all-around melancholic kinda lady. If you’d rather read something lighthearted, I’d recommend ‘ White Teeth’ by Zadie Smith.
The team is reading:
‘The Book of Snobs’ by William Makepeace Thackery
‘No One Belongs Here More Than You’ by Miranda July
‘Look Alive Out There’ by Sloane Crosely
And that right there is an airtight plan, go ahead and tell Susan you don’t have time for her godforsaken baby shower!